Show of hands if the holiday didn’t feel so holiday to you? I spent the better part of my holiday doing my best to just be present. A lot of things didn’t go according to plan so I was frustrated a lot.
When all the glam fades, this is who I become – a woman a little too afraid to take on the world. Its not me though, it’s the anxiety that I wear so well.
I like to tell myself my anxiety doesn’t exist, that she isn’t attached to me like a shadow. I tell myself the whispers are the hummings of a song I don’t understand yet. The knot in my chest are the words I swallowed and I can’t breathe because I’ve been running for so long.
” In this house, we don’t have anxiety”. We are not betrayed by our body and mind, we are not broken. I tell my reflection I am strong and in control and to accept an alternate reality is to accept defeat – I was wrong.Tweet
This is what my anxiety looks like! And for the better part of two weeks, she has been the sun I orbit. These are not the conversations we have but I’m stepping out in faith – to be more honest with myself.
Maybe this is for someone beyond myself. Take a leap of faith and face your fears. We can’t defeat what we don’t acknowledge. May the year be good to us! See you on the other side of fear – victory
HAPPY NEW YEAR xo